


I missed you

by TomatoTamato



Category: Half-Life
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Late Night Confessions, M/M, Rated teen and up cuz it’s a little saucy, Sharing a Bed, Sleep Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29504484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomatoTamato/pseuds/TomatoTamato
Summary: Gordon has been getting home really late and Benrey secretly really worries about him while he’s gone.I suck at writing summaries, but basically gay pinning and sleepy making-out.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 5
Kudos: 93





	I missed you

Watching the dark winding road rush by coaxed the last bit of caffeine to drain from Gordon’s system. Black Mesa put him in charge of a very lucrative experiment with black holes and now he’s finally leaving to go home- at 4:37am. He’s spent more nights than he liked after hours working on calculations and picking up the slack from the engineers. 

Today- _Tonight_ \- well, maybe “today” because it became early morning. Today was especially taxing. Coffee does so much after staying up for 20 hours straight. 

The sleepiness was starting to catch up to him as he drove down the empty streets of New Mexico. The too bubbly pop music on the radio didn’t help Gordon stay awake either. 

A defeated sigh pushed out from his lips and he rubbed his eyes for a moment. “ _Maybe I should pull over. Take a power nap._ ” He thought, “ _Driving tired is worse than driving drunk, they say._ ”

Pity comes to his mind as he realized that Benrey and Joshie must be worried about him. He forgot to text Benrey when he left. Gordon sighs again, “ _No point texting now. I’ll be home soon anyway.”_

———-

Gordon pulled into the driveway, finally home safe. He quietly pushed open the front door, careful of the squeaky hinges that he keeps putting off from fixing. The living room was empty. Gordon shouldered off his coat and hung it up. He pulled the elastic from his hair, and raked his fingers through the knots. 

He tip-toed over to Joshua's room and peeked inside. Josh was sound asleep in his blue and green bed (his favorite colors). A grateful smile stretched across Gordon’s face, at least Joshie wasn’t too worried. Or maybe Benrey convinced him to go to sleep. A picture of Benrey putting Joshie to bed and giving him a goodnight kiss in place of Gordon’s absence flashed through his brain. 

A mix of warm gratitude and heavy guilt settled inside of Gordon. He sneaked over to Josh and placed a ghostly kiss on his forehead, afraid of waking him up if he pressed too hard. 

As he walked to his bedroom, he notes that Benrey’s door was closed. “ _Good. Probably means he’s asleep too.”_

His first instinct when he walks in his bedroom is to flick on the light, but his body freezes when he sees a form laying in his bed. Gordon blinked away the fuzzy darkness and realized that Benrey was snoozing on his bed, clutching one of Gordon’s pillows against his face in a fetal position.

The bed sunk as Gordon sat next to Benrey. He gently shook him awake, making Benrey whine in protest and squeeze the pillow harder. “Hmmmm… mean, _bad_ dadman,” Benrey mumbled. 

Gordon snickers, “What? Look, I’m sorry if Josh was fussie going to bed. I got stuck at work _again.”_

Benrey sat up, rubbing his face, “Third time this week bro. ‘Cept way worse today…” 

Guilt prickles at the back of Gordon’s neck, he scratched at it, “I’m sorry. I’m kinda… well, _bad_ at prioritizing sometimes. Or uh… being there for my kid too.” A heavy, sad sigh leaves Gordon. 

Benrey watches Gordon, a frown forming on his face. Gordon was looking down at his hands that rested on his thighs and chewed on his lip. 

He quickly looked up, “Thanks for taking care of Joshie for me. I’ll try harder next time to be a better parent…” 

Benrey shifted closer to Gordon, flipping through his mental notes of how to best comfort him. “ _He’s a touchy-feely guy, so maybe he responds to touch too_ ,” he reasons. Benrey pressed his palm into Gordon’s shoulder, Gordon blinked quizzingly. 

When Benrey didn’t say anything afterwards Gordon huffed with amusement, “Okaaayy…?” Gordon didn’t move to push Benrey away, that was a good sign right? 

  
“Uh. You’re a good dad. I was just messing around,” Benrey offered. 

Gordon nodded, not absorbing the flat compliment and apology. “Thanks. Can I use my bed now?” 

“Depends. You’re not gonna steal it right?” 

Gordon sputtered, a little too loud for the middle of the night, “Dude, it’s _my_ bed! If anything I should be worry about _you_ stealing it.” 

Benrey squinted suspiciously, “I’ll have to stay with you. Make sure you’re not gonna do… crimes.” 

Gordon rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. A familiar throb behind his eyes started to creep in, but he wasn’t sure if it was from the caffeine crash or because of the man next to him. “You’re gonna sleep with me?? You know, I’ve never been able to shake you off any other time, so fuck it, I guess.” 

Benrey mentally high fives himself as he crawls under the covers with a gremlin cackle. Gordon can’t help but smile at Benrey’s mannerisms, he acts like a fourth grader sometimes, but it’s kinda funny- _kinda._

Gordon settled into his side of the bed, his back towards the other. Benrey and him have only shared a bed a few times, usually accompanied by Josh when he had a bad dream. Surprisingly, Benrey kept to himself, “ _Why can’t he be less annoying when he’s awake too?”_ Gordon thought. 

Sleep started to edge his brain when he felt the bed shift and a warmth spread across his back. Whips of air brushed Gordon’s neck as Benrey mumbled, “We miss you, y’know?”

Something swirled in Gordon’s gut. He couldn’t place it if it was annoyance, guilt, or… delight? He must’ve taken too long to answer because Benrey moved to peer over Gordon’s shoulder, “Oh, you’re asleep?” Benrey whispered. Gordon froze.

The air suddenly hung with a strange tension as Benrey continued to watch Gordon, soaking in how beautifully his dark hair framed his face. He looked at peace, a seldom expression he makes. A magnetic charge urged Benrey closer. His heart buzzed and his arms suddenly wobbly as he laid back down. His face burned up in a fierce blush as he pressed it into Gordon’s shoulder blade. This felt wrong. Snuggling up to a guy who’s not even aware of what you’re doing. 

Gordon’s rib cage is going to have bruises after how goddamn fast his heart is pounding. Gordon thanked whatever deity that Benrey couldn’t see his face anymore. He’s sure he looked like a mess.

Benrey’s hand softly landed on Gordon’s waist. Gordon positively _melted_ , his poor heart swooned at Benrey’s gentleness. Gordon sucked in a brave breath before rolling over to face Benrey. 

As soon as he moved Benrey scrambled away from him, a few orbs of red flame spilled from his mouth. He stared wildly at Gordon, expecting him to be disgusted or angry. 

But Gordon’s face was still relaxed, if not a little worried. “No, I-it’s okay, Benrey,” Gordon whispered cautiously. 

The scared expression on Benrey’s face switched to awe, eyes full and vulnerable and a blush dusting his cheeks. “Sorry. You’re probably really tired,” his face dropped with the realization. 

“Yeaaahh,” Gordon drawled, “but I don’t mind it.” He swallowed down a dry patch in the back of his throat. “I actually-,” calloused fingers perched on Benrey’s middle and helped him pull himself closer, “-kinda liked it.”

A flustered shockwave shot through Benrey as Gordon’s hand pressed gently into him. The red on his face seemed like it was starting to stain, unable to leave. The spike of anxiety melted into a dreamy affection as Benrey stared into Gordon’s seafoam eyes. 

“Shut up and kiss me, gay boy,” Benrey whispered, the mockery hitting without a punch on his breathy voice. 

The sight of Benrey was intoxicating, so pretty and waiting for him to make a move, adoration swirling behind his heavy eyelids. 

The quickening rhythm of Gordon’s heart pushed him forward, his eyes fluttered shut as warm lips pressed against his own. Benrey’s cool digits brushed across his prickly jawline and cupped his face, his fingers made his skin buzz at the touch. 

What Gordon had intended to be a simple kiss turned into multiple connected kisses, melding into each other as their lips grazed each other with sparse separation. 

The fog in Gordon’s brain started to catch up with him as his body remembered that he hasn’t slept in a long time. Benrey pulled away when Gordon completely stopped, “Wha-“ he frowned. Gordon’s breathing slowed and he was motionless. 

_“He fucking fell asleep!_ ” Benrey cursed to himself. “ _What kinda guy falls asleep while you’re making out with ‘im???”_ Benrey grumbled as he pulled himself into Gordon’s chest and rested his eyes. 

  
“Don’t make me worry so much next time. I missed you,” Benrey mumbled into Gordon’s shirt. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sweet voice translation:  
> Red flame = “I’m ashamed”


End file.
